Tuesday, June 7, 2011

So many emotions

This past month has been filled with sadness and joy for me I have struggled with the loss of one of my best friend's children. No one thinks the loss of a child can happen to them. Well they are WRONG. I have had 3 friends now whose children have passed away. One an infant, one 8 years old, and the other 17. I feel their pain, but cannot image the pain they will feel for the rest of their lives. This is my struggle, I want to help them, but don't know how. All I can do is pray. I find myself feeling guilty for my happiness when I graduated and also enjoying my wonderful time at the beach with my family. Graduation was awesome! A wonderful adrenaline rush! I loved every minute of it, but as I crossed the stage I thought of my sweet Savannah and how she was just a few weeks away from her high school graduation. Suddenly I was sad as I returned to my seat #13. I cried as I sat there feeling so many emotions, most of them I could not explain. This is not fair! Why? I know she is in Heaven. There is not a doubt in my mind, but I still am sad. My friends are hurting and i want to take it from them. The more accepting I am of my own life the more I struggle to make sense of other's lives. Why do I do this?